The New Years Tape
I write this account with trembling hands, not out of remorse, but as a warning. If you value your sanity, heed my words and leave this tale unfinished. There are truths too horrifying to behold, and I—Professor T. Halberd of Extempory College, scholar of ancient linguistics and gender studies—am a man undone by such experiences! It was New Year’s Eve when this all began, though that night feels distant, like a half-remembered nightmare. I was walking home, alone as usual, through the quiet streets of Haddonfield. Snow crunched underfoot, muffling the slight wheezing of my breath. Fireworks whispered in the distance, though they brought no joy to me. I’ve never been one for celebrations, dear reader. My colleagues barely tolerate me, and my students...
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A Children's Tale of Harken
This short story is designed to help expand the language and coin some new words. If you would like to learn more about the Magical World of Harken, make sure to buy our book! (Boy walking through spooky Forest in Harken) In the murky expanses of the Ringwood, nestled within the mystical land of Harken, a boy meandered, his eyes a mirror to the living things that swayed and fluttered around him. His soul, an observer to the vibrant life forms, found a spectacle where every living thing whispered tales of existence, yet he remained an outsider, a spectator to the assortment unfolding before him. The plants and animals, each an organism, narrated silent stories of biology and ecology, yet he knew he was...
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Voyages in Verbiage: Delving into the Depths of a diabolical dialect!
To whomever might chance upon these musings, I, Professor T Halberd of Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department, have had the most peculiar and revealing of days. While wandering a local Walmart parking lot this morning, as is my habit to draw inspiration from the mundane, I stumbled upon a revelation. On an aged bus's front bumper, I discerned a line of characters — symbols that I have been researching for years. The very key to the lost language tied to an ancient and ominous cult. The bus itself was a treasure trove, filled to the brim with equipment and peculiar garments. Acting on impulse, I snuck aboard. Finding a hiding spot at the rear of the vehicle, I nestled myself amidst a pile of...
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A Strange Hymn to Pan Discovered!
Deep in the heart of Leeds Point, New Jersey, an intrepid archaeologist stumbled upon an enigmatic novelty concealed within the oddest of hiding places—an old tire, forgotten amidst the eerie woods. Within this heinous hoop lay a manuscript, aged and mysterious, its pages adorned with cryptic symbols and a drawling of the Jersey Devil. It was as if the pigmy pines whispered secrets of a forgotten age. Undeterred by the strangeness that pervaded the air, a defrocked doctor by the name of T Halberd meticulously deciphered the ancient script. To his amazement, the esoteric language unraveled before his eyes, revealing itself as none other than Riddlesdiculous, a tongue used by the inner circle of the Riddlesbrood Touring Theater. The contents of the manuscript, however,...
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An uncontrollable urge to read!
Behold, dear reader, for I shall now regale you with the tale of a mysterious and enigmatic troupe known as “Riddlesbrood”. A group of eclectic performers who possess a remarkable ingenuity and a penchant for the bizarre, the strange, and the outlandish. Their shows are unlike anything that has ever been witnessed before, and their unique and daring approach to comedic performance has captivated audiences far and wide! Riddlesbrood is a group of individuals who are driven by their passion for creating the most mind-bending and unforgettable shows. They have earned a reputation as masters of the obscure, utilizing a combination of elaborate mechanical props, mesmerizing humor, and peculiar characters to craft memorable experiences for their audiences. Their shows are not limited to a...
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The Jabberwocky Jigsaw
Cheers and Good Health to you my fellow intellectuals! It is I, Professor Halbert of Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department. I have some foreboding intelligence that anxiety and discomposure compels me to disgorge into your hungry yet loyal ears. I have found proof, incontrovertible proof, that a supernatural cryptid BEAST lurks in our midst—and more then that; this creature is adored by a clan of thespians in our own garden state! This will constitute irrefutable authentication that Riddlesbrood is in fact a devious sect bent on nefarious melodramatic acts! You see, I was going about my normal daily activities when a whim came over me to watch some random corporate training videos (A feeling that strikes me quite often). To further this urge, I...
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A Christmas Carol...In Riddlesdiculous
Greetings, fellow seekers of incomprehensibilities! Tis I, Dr. T Halberd, with a few new discoveries you should be made aware of. As I am a linguist, philosopher and amateur Minecraft player, my time is at a premium. Which is sadly why I just recently broke up with my girlfriend. We only dated for 2 days and three and a half hours…yet emotionally I’m devastated. I thought it was forever, but she just could not handle my courageous pursuit of hidden occult truths! Anyway, I found myself sulking around the town feeling sorry for myself. And to make matters worse, it was Christmas Time, when everyone else seems to be so damn happy! I hate it when I see happy people. When I walked by...
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Overmuch on Idioms (In Brooding)
I found a new clue to how these rascals move about our world unseen! You see, since the Pandemic began in the early months of 2020, I was deemed ‘non-essential’ by the faculty and was ejected from my lavish office. However, my superiors had no idea of how important my research was for their safety! I felt duty bound to sneak in each night and continue my groundbreaking efforts for their own good. However, I saw a sign on the wall that said ‘Masks required at ALL times’. Even though I was alone and cloaked in darkness, I felt compelled to obey. But as I was now without employment and also without means to purchase masks, I risked constant infection! Fortunately, nearby there were...
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Intestinal fortitude
I, Professor T. Halberd of Extempory College—scholar of ancient linguistics and gender studies—present this account with great trepidation. My relentless research into the unseen mechanisms of our world has uncovered a most peculiar document: an internal communiqué from Riddlesbrood Theater. What I hold in my trembling hands is not just an announcement, but a coded message—a fragment of something far stranger than mere performance. Steel yourself, dear reader, for I shall now read it aloud. [performance featuring a group of actors dressed in elaborate period or fantasy-inspired costumes. The scene is dynamic, with characters posing dramatically, some wielding props like swords and staffs, while others strike expressive stances. The setting is likely a stage, with theatrical lighting emphasizing the performers and their costumes.]
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You need commitment in the entertainment world!
Every company, no matter the size, gets it wrong on occasion. Regardless of how organized you may be or how much talent you have on your team, you just can’t win every battle. For entertainment companies (including groups that do murder mysteries, dinner theater and live performance), EVERY event counts! So, what can one do when troubles come around? Show real grit! Face it head on, take responsibility and make it happen. A few years ago, we were booked for a Sweet 16 party around Halloween time. We were hired to perform a spooky murder mystery followed by a night of dancing with our DJ package. Since there were so many teens, it was understood that the DJ portion was going to be the...
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An Aesop's fable Translated into Brooding
Hello this is Dr. T Halberd, with Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department. I felt it my solemn duty to inform you of a new translation. I'm sure that you have been on the edge of your seats, but i assure you this newest revelation will baffle you further! As many of you know I have dedicated my life to uncovering the suspicious and possibly nefarious agenda of a secret society known as the Riddlesbrood. While they often pose as a touring theater company, the truth is, in my opinion, that it is a cover for something far darker and mysterious. You see, I was a thrift shop the other day and was looking through the old books for sale when I found a naughty...
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Halloween: The Time for Myth
Just as the myth of Dr. Frankenstein crafting a monster endures, so does the legend of Riddlesbrood, creating great moments that come alive with energy, spectacle, and unforgettable theatrical magic! Everybody Has a Folk Tale...I step outside as October greets me. A crisp, cool air brushes across my cheeks, giving a misty life to my breath. As I stroll down the uneven sidewalk I notice the changing scenery everywhere. The bright oranges on the forest above and the dried leaves crunching like breaking backs under my feet. Slow moving shadows crisscross my face as I glide under the remaining foliage, those last leaves still refusing to let go--Hello Halloween! Dive into this fascinating article to uncover the rich and mysterious mythology of Riddlesbrood! Explore...
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Dr Halberd learns to laugh!
Greetings, fellow seekers of obscurities, it is I, Dr. T Halberd, with some new revelations about the secret cult in our midst! For many years, I have been convinced of the existence of an underground order of augers and theurgists which operate in Southern New Jersey and sometimes well, well beyond. What their nefarious objectives are, I cannot yet say, although their surreptitiousness implies, they have some devious malice in mind for us all! But to the point, a student brought a startling piece of new evidence to me in return for changing his grade, which I happily did. The article he delivered was a small piece of wax-paper, partially burnt, which had abundant traces of pizza sauce upon it. Instantaneously, I surmised that...
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The Riddlesbrood Logo
I am Professor T. Halberd of Extempory College—scholar of ancient linguistics and human flatulence, a man burdened with knowledge few dare to seek. And yet, even I was unprepared for what I recently uncovered. It began with a pattern; one I could not ignore. Scattered across gas station pumps throughout New Jersey and Pennsylvania, I found cryptic stickers—affixed to vending machines, restroom doors, even the dim-lit corners of convenience stores. The symbol they bore was striking, evocative, almost hypnotic. It gnawed at the edges of my mind, demanding inquiry. My research led me to a revelation both strange and troubling: this was the sigil of Riddlesbrood Theater. Thus, I set out to unravel its secrets. This article shall attempt to grant you, dear reader,...
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This Mysterious tribe MUST be actors!!!
You think you're safe, but you're not—none of us are! As you all are aware, there have been a series of cultish and ineffable inscriptions that have been uncovered all over New Jersey and the lands beyond. These odd writings have been stumbled on in the most curious places; tavern rest rooms, highway rest stops, hotels, restaurants and nudist colonies….no sane man has, as yet, been able to make heads nor tails of it….except for me! My name is Dr. T. Halberd from Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department. Are you cogitating with me? They’re out there, lurking in the shadows—this secret tribe of weirdos, whispering in a language only they understand, pulling unseen strings, waiting for the perfect moment to strike—watch your back!
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Body Parts in the accursed Language
In every culture, society and lost civilization the names for the parts of the body tend to be the oldest of all words. Altering little over the eons and remain curiously static through many generations. Greetings, my name is Dr. T Halberd from Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department. Today I would like to share with you some of my newest findings concerning the enigmatic and underground group, for which there is no official name, yet I call Harkeens--from their strange symbol. I have uncovered a new and exciting piece of evidence which, I believe, will allow me to unlock more of their code-like language. This newest find is a rude diagram of a dismembered human body and on it, writings indicating the names of...
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Baffling and Mysterious Mark
Hello, my name is Doctor T Halberd, from Princeton New Jersey. I was to follow in my fathers footsteps and become an archeologist but as my life would have it, I was pulled in a different direction. The incident that diverted me was a strange—unexplainable dread for which I will ever after seek the true meaning of....Since the very earliest times, people have used symbols to mark their services and products in the marketplace to differentiate themselves from others. However, symbols are used for more than that. These pictograms can also be used to ward off evil spirits, or protect oneself from the evil eye! A mysterious mark shrouded in secrecy, hinting at hidden meanings and deeper mysteries. Read more to learn!
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The unexplainable story of our Founder!
There are those who, despite repeated warnings, have persisted in their perilous curiosity—obsessively whispering, prying, and delving into shadowed corners—desperate to unearth the truth about Clyde P. Riddlesbrood. Who is he, truly? And from where, exactly, did he come? Some say it is a question best left unasked, for to know too much is to tread on dangerous ground. Others claim the tale is so riddled with half-truths, contradictions, and vanishing details that it defies all attempts at comprehension. I must confess, there is no simple way to tell this story. It is a tangled web, woven from fragments of truth and gossamer threads of illusion. Some have sought answers in the cryptic passages of a long-lost artifact—the fabled Greatest Brochure in the World....
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The Language of Riddles-diculous
My name is Dr. T Halberd from Extempory College's Ancient Linguistics Department, and I must make you aware of a devious method of communication. The Riddlesbrood Touring Theater Company (as they style themselves) are much more then they appear on the surface. After many years of obsessive research—and I have consistently said as much in my numerous articles— It is self-evident that these ’Thespians’ are convinced that they have a great mission: to cleanse the world of fantastical creatures which live in peoples brains—one audience at a time! Now, as a scientist and vegetarian, I’m not credulous enough to endorse such foolishness, yet I strongly suspect that this so-called ‘Theater Troupe’ is nothing less than a subversive and dangerous secret order. I shall prove...
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Whispers from the Unknowable: The Riddlesbrood Themesong
It was on a dark, rain-slicked evening as I walked alone down Haddon Avenue in Collingswood, NJ, that I first heard it. A melody—warbling and spectral—drifted through the mist like an incantation spoken in hushed, forbidden tongues. The sound seemed to coil around me, pressing against my very skin. I stopped dead in my tracks, my pulse hammering in my throat. This was no ordinary song. This was something else. Something wrong. I am Professor T. Halberd of Extempory College—scholar of ancient linguistics and antiquarian archaeologist—a man well-versed in the hidden mechanisms of influence and manipulation. And yet, as I stood there, without an umbrella, alone beneath the yellowish salt lamps, I felt powerless against the uncanny force carried by that cursed melody. It...
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The Greatest Brochure in the World
The Greatest Brochure in the World is no ordinary book—it is a legend in itself! Written by Clyde P. Riddlesbrood and first published in 2015, this ever-evolving masterpiece has been revised and expanded annually, growing more detailed and spectacular with each iteration. More than just a true account of how Riddlesbrood came into existence, the book is a testament to the boundless power of imagination, proving that creative vision can shape entire worlds. True to its name, The Greatest Brochure in the World is, in fact, a brochure—albeit an impossibly exhaustive one—detailing every service Riddlesbrood offers to prospective buyers. Even its physical form mimics a traditional brochure, yet it defies expectations with its incredible length, breathtaking illustrations, and astonishing depth. In Riddlesbrood fashion, long...
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